Brutal insults

"You have the energy of a tired snail returning home from a funeral" (NZ unparliamentary language, 1963)

“You look like a passion fruit that was left in a drawer” (Portuguese)

“If you went down a mine, the coal would come up by itself” (Hungarian)

“Your family tree is a circle” (German)

“You are a potato with the face of a guinea pig” (French)

“Visibly homeschooled”

Pierre Elliott Trudeau on being called an asshole on the Nixon tapes, “I’ve been called worse things by better people.”

“There are two sides to every story, you’re a cunt in both of them”

"Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory" (Brazil)

"you're not the most oxygenated trout in the river"

"Face like a roofer's nail bag/a dropped pie"

“I bet you couldn’t read for weeks after you’d broken that index finger.”

“Spherical bastard” i.e. would be bastard if viewed from any direction.

“It was like being flogged by a warm lettuce or mauled by a dead sheep.” - Australian past Prime Minister Paul Keating about his then-Opposition Leader John Hewson.

"He’s all tip and no iceberg."

Beef ring anyone?

One very bitter schroom and other stories

Scientists have discovered the world's most bitter substance, and shockingly, it's not the collected tears of New Zealand Landlords in a rental market flush with properties. As reported by the BBC, it's in a mushroom called Amaropostia stiptica. This mushroom contains a compound so bitter that one gram dissolved in 16,000 litres of water still tastes like Brian Tamaki’s hair dye.

American exceptionalism this week: "Two U.S. citizen children were sent on their mother’s deportation flight to Honduras without the opportunity to speak with attorneys, leaving a 4-year-old boy with Stage 4 cancer without access to his medication." Read more here.

A step too far: recyclable toilet paper.

The young ones are embarking on a slow life strategy: Pew data shows today’s 25-year-olds only now match where 21-year-olds were in 1980 on work and financial independence. And they not drinking or having sex much either. Read more here.

How we learned about bird migration: In 1822, someone in northern Germany shot a stork. The stork was retrieved and was found to have a 31-inch arrow in its neck!

“We don't know how long the bird survived carrying the arrow, but it was sent to the University of Rostock for study. There it was determined that the arrow originated in central Africa, proof that the stork had flown more than 1,800 miles with an arrow in its neck. Over time, other birds were discovered flying with arrows from faraway places, and scientists confirmed the theory of bird migration. Eventually, we started tagging birds with less painful identifiers.” Via Neatorama.

Beatle stats: Paul McCartney is the only artist to have reached number one on the UK Singles Chart in various groupings:

• · Solo artist: "Pipes of Peace" (1983).

• · Duo: "Ebony and Ivory" with Stevie Wonder (1982).

• · Trio: "Mull of Kintyre" with Wings (1977).

• · Quartet: Multiple hits with The Beatles, such as "She Loves You" (1963).

• · Quintet: "Get Back" with The Beatles and Billy Preston (1969).

• · Sextet: "Let It Be" with Ferry Aid (1987).

Tesla owners living nightmare: This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person. “Trust me, I feel the sting of every single disapproving glare like a thousand needles. My soul trembles and withers. It is an unbearable burden.”” Read more here.

Trolling scammers: British company 02 has launched Daisy, an Al-powered "granny" designed to waste scammers' time with lifelike, rambling conversations. See it in action here.

Streaming comfort content

Last One Laughing UK (Prime): Jimmy Carr hosts the new six-part UK original comedy format where a bunch of comedians sit in a room together and try to make each other laugh. If they laugh, they’re out. The facial gymnastics to squash a smile or bury a snort are an absolute hoot.

This City is Ours (BBC iPlayer): I have watched ALL the British Crime Dramas ever made and I can say, this is one of the best with reviewers dubbing it the Scouse Sopranos. It really is superb crime thriller of betrayals and shifting loyalties and is as much about family dynamics and the human condition as it is about gangsters and violence. A banging musical score, with Sean Bean, Derry Girls star Saoirse-Monica Jackson and hot-as-Colemans-mustard James Nelson-Joyce, tipped to be the next James Bond.

So Dreamy

Unlike the Bezzo’s Space Barbies of 2025, Greek crooner Demis Roussos launched himself on champagne cork in this 70s love song my husband sent to me for our 4th wedding aniversaty last week. Swoon.

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