Current irritations include:

Billionaires buying into legacy media.

People who cross roads diagonally.

Shoelaces tied really tightly, so tight that they leave unreasonably long loops.

Having the school lunch argument over and over again.
”A marmite sandwich and an apple might be an ok lunch if you go home to rosemary roast lamb, cauliflower gratin, rocket salad with microgreens and avocado and tomato salsa, but not so much if it's your only meal of the day… But, the percentage of kids who don't get fed dinner at home would be tiny, yet here we are with the government feeding a large percentage of the country's kids for no legitimate reason… In NZ about 1 in 4 children experience food insecurity,850k enrolled students 230K, so 27%. Seems about right.

When people stick their tongue out or do "kissy lips" for a photo.

People putting short things on the tall shelves in the fridge when there's room for them on the short shelves. The tall things can't go on the short shelves, so the tall shelves need to be saved for them.

The growing popularity of fascism.

Individually wrapped cheese slices.

Windscreen wipers going when it’s not raining!

People who let water accumulate in soap dishes.

Newsrooms who based their editorial structure on the Hunger Games, competing for clicks to keep their livelihoods.

People who let the neck of a bottle clunk on to the rim of a glass when pouring a drink.

Men with a tucked in t-shirt.

A shit health system.

People that are too stubborn to listen to good advice. And, then you have to witness them make the mistake and flounder, over and over again.

The Anxiety Economy

Doomscroll, then comfort scroll. And repeat. But wait, there’s more! Now you can turn every moment of discomfort into an opportunity for consumption.

Let me give you an example from my own sad little life.

Reeling from the live bullying in the Oval Office you swipe over to Designer Wardrobe, hoping to get a bargain on a vintage Karen Walker frock that probably won’t fit, because you are not a size 10 even if the fabric is %5 elastane, but the print is so very autumnal and gorgeous and the purchase will push the real world fear down. For a few hours, at least..

On her substack She’s Thinking [+Rethinking] culture expert Toyah explains the grift.

“Peace is now a product, and you don’t have to look far to be sold on:,” she writes, offering examples.

• Calm app subscriptions - $70/year to have Matthew McConaughey or Harry Styles read you bedtime stories. Dreamy.

• Anxiety and Worry rings - $30 to fidget but make it fashion.

• Emotional support water bottles - $50 because hydration is self-care.

• CBD EVERYTHING - in your coffee, in your face cream, in your dog's treats – peace by osmosis.

• Anxiety reducing home decor - because your throw pillows and throw blankets should be hypoallergenic and therapeutic.

• Digital gardens - zen, but make it pixelated

• Meditation platforms - sending you notifications to remind you to be present (oh, the irony).

“We're not just consuming comfort, we're wearing it, downloading it, diffusing it, and financing it with buy-now-pay-later arrangements because peace shouldn't wait but also apparently requires a fortnightly payment plan.

In a world that's literally and figuratively on fire, maybe our job isn't to make ourselves more comfortable. Maybe it's to get uncomfortable enough to actually do something about it.”

Weird real Estate NZ

I know you can’t afford to actually BUY a home, but you can enjoy the voyeurism into the lives of those who can.

The end-of-times vibe is big this year, so there’ll e no trouble selling this house like an ark in Sumner, Christchurch. * note this house will not float when the West Antarctic Ice Sheet melts and raises the raise global sea levels by 3.4 metres.

Built for an All Black you’ve never heard of, a house Fred Flinstone would love in Eltham, Taranaki.

“What’s in the box!?”

Not a head, but a whole 3-seater couch! A compression sofa to be precise, which is designed to be tightly compressed and vacuum-sealed into a small package for easy transportation and storage.

@compressionsofa01Innovative technology that changed the world-compression sofa #compressionsofa #compression #homefurniture #sofabed #exporttrade #exportfurniture #compressionsofabed #furniture #compressionchair #livingroomsofa #boxsofa #sofa #livingroomfurniture #livingroomcompressionsofa

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Hair Today

This from Semafor Flagship.

India, the world’s biggest exporter of human hair, wants to move into wigmaking. Hair pickers in India earn between 10 cents and $1 per 2.2 pounds of hair, often from Hindu temples where hair is shaved as an act of devotion. It is then sold to local traders and ends up in the China-dominated wig trade: The Chinese wigmaking industry is worth about $5 billion, an analyst told the BBC. As so often, raw materials — whether crude oil or human hair — are less valuable than refined products, and Indian wigmakers want the government to invest in sophisticated hair-treatment and sorting systems. One advocate said the goal is for India to sell wigs worth thousands of dollars instead of exporting hair for hundreds.

Meanwhile, in The Republic of Gilead…

1.

Trad-wifery is baack, baby! Half of republican men want women back in the kitchen. Let that sink in. I am glad Taylor Swift sang “fuck the patriarchy“ in unison with 10 million with young women fans on the Eras Tour.

2.

In Aotearoa 132 years ago we paved the way for all women to have the right to vote. Now a new bill in the US could strip that right from women who chose to take their husband’s surname when they got hitched.

The Safeguard American Voter Eligibility (SAVE) Act could prevent 69 million married from voting. You see, the proposed law would requires people to present in-person with their birth certificate that matches the name registering to vote.

The SAVE Act lists several types of documentation that would be an acceptable proof of identity alongside a birth certificate - including a valid United States passport, valid military ID - but mind-blowingly, a marriage certificate is not one of them.

This would also impact millions of transgender voters and rural voters who would have to drive hours to present documents in person.

The best take

Menswear writer Derek Guy, who recently waded into our Prime Minister wearing a t-shirt over his suit jacket, says this about Zelenskyy’s lack of suit in the White House:

“One reason why I think respectability is stupid is because it's often used as a mask. Such judgements are rarely about the clothes themselves, but more often about the bodies beneath them… No one raised an issue when Elon wore a graphic t-shirt and ball cap to meet the Trump cabinet. I also dislike the idea of respectability in dress because the concept is often unevenly applied. It bothered me to see Vance smirking during this moment, as he supposedly champions the forgotten working poor who are most often shamed because of these concepts. Just look at how we view hoodies. On Mark Zuckerberg, the hoodie is a symbol of whiz kid meritocracy breaking norms and developing the New Economy. On people like Trayvon Martin, the hoodie is sometimes seen as proof of criminality.

The biggest reason why I dislike the idea of respectability in dress is because it conflates the *appearance* of virtue with *actual* virtue. Wearing a suit doesn't make you respectful, intelligent, or capable…character is defined by actions, not clothes. I think it's fine if you say you'd wear a suit if you were in Zelenskyy's position. However, I think it's stupid to say that he's disrespectful for not wearing a suit.”

Parody of the Oval Office

If you haven’t taken the time to watch this in full, I recommend you do. Bowen Yang’s JD Vance is gold and yes, that is Mike Myers as Elon Musk.

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